My Travel Map

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

The race I never ran...

Of late, I have been getting this sinking feeling that I'm losing the race. What race, do u say? Well, for the moment, let it suffice to say that this is a race that the organizers do not know of, and hence, they haven't advertised it nor they have kept any prize reserved for the winner. If that still does not satisfy you, consider it as just another figment of my not too fertile imagination.

The race was never meant to be in the first place. 'Coz there are no other runners. I am running the race alone. At least ostensibly. I forced it upon myself to participate and now I find myself at the crossroads, not knowing which way leads to victory. But I am just too attached to this long distance run of mine to give it up so easily. I'll continue running as I have been doing for the past two years. This race has not brought any rewards to me, neither any accolades. On the contrary, it has caused me untold pain. But it has been worth it. It has been an experience worth reliving.

As I continue my journey unto life, this one race of mine and the sights and sounds associated with it will continue to provide a source of sustenance as nothing else. The race has been long and arduous. But I have been hallucinating of late. Of late, I have being seeing people on the stands, watching me run and laughing at me. Often have I wondered at their mirth. They think that I'm running this race for the prize. I laugh back at them for their naivete. They can have the prize, for all I care. I haven't even thought of the prize, for God's sake!

But as I stated earlier, I'm finding it difficult to continue running at the same pace and with the ame vigour as before. Something seems to be lacking. The sights and sounds have changed. don't get the same thrill out of running anymore. Have those spectators spoiled my fun? Maybe...maybe not. I can't pinpoint the reasons. I am getting tired. I can see but emptiness staring at me with her unforgiving eyes, daring me to continue the race.

I believe I have strength just about enough for one last sprint. One concentrated effort. One last try. One last attempt to breast that tape which seems to move for ever and for ever away as I run forward. Should I preserve the strength and continue my lacklustre race or should I make that one last effort? What lies on the other side? The crossroads seem neverending...

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

I'm back and I'm tagged!!!

So I'm back to blogspace after a gap of I don't know how many months...forgive me, my fans ( I hope there are some)...but I was too busy and too lazy to write. What I was doing all this time, I think I'll tell you once I'm back on campus but till then, u hava to be content with the fact that I'm writing this on my desktop at office at 12:45 in the afternoon, having absolutely no work on hand and trying hard to figure out what I'll be doing for the rest of the day!

Avinash "Guta" Singh tagged me a long while ago and thankfully so, coz it gives me a definite subject matter to mark my re-entry into this arena.

First the rules of the game -

1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover
2. You have to mention the sex of the target
3. Tag 8 victims to join this game and leave a comment on their comments saying they've been tagged
4. If tagged the 2nd time, there's no need to post again

This is difficult man! I think this will take up a substantial part of my vella hours today. Good for me! Anywayz I should focus on the job at hand -

So here goes:

1. My perfect lover should be smart, intelligent and have a sense of humour that's on the same wavelength as mine. I should be able to discuss with her anything and everything without things going above her head.

2. My perfect lover should not be a perfectionist but should not be too lackadaisical either. There should be a certain bit of order in our lives.

3. My perfect lover should be very talkative and capable of carrying on converstaions all night. One good listener in a family is enough!

4. My perfect lover should be very adept at shopping. Coz someone has to buy my clothes for me. I suck at it, bigtime!!! ( I can do the grocery bit, though!)

5. My perfect lover should understand my need to be alone at times and allow me the space which I need - I'll need my whisky-on-the-rocks, my floyd, my premiership matches and my novels without intrusion.

6. My perfect lover should not expect me to express myself everytime through words. My eyes and my actions should suffice.

7. My perfect lover should have the capability to love not only me, but my whole world including my friends and family.

8. My perfect lover should have a smile that I cannot do without, fingers whose touch will ease all my tensions and eyes into which I can lose myself.

I think I could have added more, but u have to play by the rules, u know!

So that's all...now tell me folks...what do u think...have I written this with someone in mind or is it all in the air? No biased opinions based on prior knowledge (however faulty that knowledge may be) please.

Oh BTW for those who haven't guessed, the sex of the target is female.

I won't be tagging anyone coz I'm so late on this game that everyone out here has been tagged.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Watch Out for The Fingers!!!

Over the past few days, the fingers have been dominating me completely...to the extent that they have become the fulcrum of many a conversations I have been having with people...normal people, people whose lives don't involve having to deal with the whims and fancies of the fingers.
Lucky bastards, I must admit.

Living under the constant shadow of the fingers is not smooth sailing. That is not to take anything away from the experience, though, and I must admit, it has been a rewarding one, to say the least. Of course, you must keep in mind that it is me and not the fingers, who is doing the talking here, contrary to what some of you may have been led to believe!

So what are the pros and cons of the whole issue? The cons I will deal with later, but lets talk about the pros! Know what, these damn fingers seem to be very highly opinionated about any and every issue and unfortunately for some, they are not afraid of expressing themselves. Hence, neither am I (I wish that was true, but its a on-going process).

The fingers know how to deal with people. The fingers are strong, they can deal with hurt and disappointment. I am still learning to do the same, albeit under their apprenticeship. The fingers know how to take decisions, however unpleasant or off-the-track they may be. The fingers know that you don't always have to justify a decision. The fingers know all. I'm still learning. I hope I will learn quickly enough 'coz I don't know how long they'll hang around.

The fingers also know all about relationships. The fingers can define love so easily that it is almost difficult to comprehend. The fingers must have learned their philosophy from the Lord Krishna himself. At least, I get that general feeling that they are highly skilled in this area of specialization. And they teach well. And hence, I am getting better at this. There is no longer that niggling doubt in my mind, which has been my constant companion. Now I know.

So I go about happily in this world, trying hard not to feel the burden of my repsonsibilities and the pitfalls of my relationships, ably supported and guided by the fingers. I hope I can spread some resultant cheer!!!