My Travel Map

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Tension

Well I told u i am lazy...so here i am, posting my 2nd blog a good 40 days after my previous one. I have excuses, no doubt, but nothing more than sheer laziness when u come to think of it a little more dispassionately.Now what do i write...my entire mind nowadays is occupied by one single thought...a job...koi mujhe achha job dila de plzz...jaldi!!! Unless n until i get a decent job, i'm not being able to concentrate on anything else and its a rather unnerving phase of life. Being rejected outright by companies is a nightmarish scenario but its true that all life is an experience and all experiece is an arch where thru gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade for ever and for ever as we move( not my lines, of course...adapted with a few pardonable mistakes from "ulysses" by Lord Alfred Tennyson)...ya so coming back from this literary stupor, wat was i saying? Oh yes, the constant tension is making me even more unproductive these days...so u guys who want my creative juices to flow better pray for me.Nothing much else is going on these days except long and winding discussions about future plans and priorities. Many of my friends have clear cut goals but some, like me, wud prefer to wait n watch...i'll take whichever path life offers me...but this throws up conflicting thoughts inside me...u know, all this while, all i believed in is that i shud be happy in my life, watever i may be doing doesn't matter coz happiness of myself and my near and dear ones is all that matters. These days i sometimes contemplate this to be a slightly selfish thought process...is my happiness all there is to my life...is that going to be that be all and end all of my existence or am i meant for something else?This morning i was having a rather stimulated discussion about the much publicised hanging of dhananjoy chatterjee and contemplating the pros and cons of a death penalty, or more generally any corporal punishment. We were unable to reach any concrete conclusion but the point that drove home to me is that there is a wider world beyond my own selfish ''happy'' existence and that there must be some contribution that i might be capable of making that might change just a little sth in some little corner of this earth. If i can achieve just that little and be able to influence ppl to do the same too, perhaps i would be making the best use of my education in one of the best colleges of the country because there is no denying the fact that IIT's education system is designed to make not perhaps the best engineers( I think ppl from the NITs are more capable academically that most of us out here)but to make us capable of handling and managing any situation and to broaden our horizons. That is why IITians have proved to be so successful men because the 4 or 5 yrs they have spent here has completely changed their outlook and mindset. And if so many examples are out there who have managed some change, however infintesmal it may be, then perhaps it would not be a good idea to shirk my responsibilities...perhaps i'm meant to repay the debt of the nation...its certainly no small matter and needs a lot of level headed thinking...if u have any solutions do tell me...till then,bye bye...i'm thinking, u see!!!

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