My Travel Map

Monday, November 07, 2005

When destiny calls...

This post is dedicated to a very dear brother and long standing friend of mine, who is no more

Sometimes people wonder whether there really is a GOD above them, watching... rewarding them for the good things that they do and punishing them for the evil that they perpetrate...that is how we would like to imagine GOD. But things don't always turn out that way...good people are punished, evil men are let off...destiny, do you say? But what's destiny...who creates destiny? Why can't we control our destiny by our own actions? Why are our lives so dependant on the destinies of others? I have so many questions swimming in my head today...and I can answer none.

Today I cannot console myself the death of a 20 year old kid, who had not even begun enjoying his life, a kid who had worked hard his entire life to meet the expectations of his parents, to what end? Untimely death due to negligent driving of some other human being, who may be equally blameless! What answers does GOD offer us? Our parents tell us ki beta be nice, grow up to be a good human being...again to what end? Kya hua achha insaan banke...ppl tell me I'm a nice guy...in terms of niceness and concern for others, I bow humbly to this young brother of mine. No more with me. No more am I his 'ardhek', his half. No brother of mine will call me "chhordabhai" again. But life will roll on. My elder bro will get married. People will be forced to be happy, maybe not that happy, but they will be happy. The sorrow will live on, as long as he lives on in our memories.

The pain has not yet sunk in. Our frequency of meeting had gone down since he went to b'lore and it just seems that that frequency has got a tad extended. It somehow seems unbelievable that there is no existence. That when I was drunk and dancing away to glory on a wild post-midterm Thursday night, my cousin had ceased to exist in this mortal life. Someday I will, too. But who wants to believe that. Everyday we read in the papers about this accident and that. But unless faced by personal tragedy, the sorrow of these countless people, whose entire families are wiped out, never really hit home. The feeling of losing someone is an all-enveloping one, an overwhelming one, You just don't know how to react. You are numb.

I am numb. Unable to concentrate. Life seems to be one big dream presently. Or nightmare? Whatever. This is not real. Perhaps this world was too less a place for someone as "rawking" as my bro, Bhooto (I just couldn't bring myself to spell out that name before this...it hurts, real bad). Rock on, dear man, wherever you are. You'll always be in my heart.

5 comments:

Bhav said...

hi suvro

feeling really bad after reading this blog. yeah god do remind us about HIMSELF by His cruel means..(some people will deny this by saying watever god do...do for some good.. may b they are true... ). About life..wat to tell u.. u r more pratical than I am..

Keep the memories ... and u rock too

sandeep said...

really sorry for you yaar....

i know words somehow fail to soothe one in such times ....

but all i can offer is a little squeeze of the shoulder ....

arnav said...

abe now that we are far it does not mean ki we cant be part of each others sorrow, tujhe batana to chahiye tha. abe sahi main its hard to put my self in ur shoes, the closest i can get is the death of my grandma (thou for her it was the best as she was really suffering coz of her health) but unnatural deaths are more painful coz u know the person had hardly lived his/her life and all it took was a freak accident.
All that we can do is pray for him and u remeber that all of us r always there for eachother. Just continue being strong man ...

Deepak Verma said...

bhagwan Bhooto ko shanti de...

i dont know weather they exist afterward or not ..but that all we can do after they are gone , we can pray , we can assume their existance or ignore it depends ... but no matter what they will always remain in our memories ...but one advise ..if someone says : " kuchh nahin kisi aur cheej ke baare mein soch , dukhi mat ho" ..... don't do that .. keep remembering him , he will feel better.

riti said...

i am really sorry for your loss and your family's loss... may god give your uncle and aunt the strength to bear this situation... i cant even imagine how they must be feeling... its so painful for me to read this... i feel so helpless right now...

i also wish life were fairer...